TPR

TPR, termination of parental rights.  The day that has been talked about between the Child and Family team since the boys moved in finally came and went.  “TPR”, as cold as it sounds, was what everyone agreed was best.  Typically in the foster system a child is kept for 18 months before either their parent-child relationship is restored or severed.  For this family they have been in “the system” and all it’s mess for 3 1/2 years.  No one can understand why the judge gave these parents so many chances.  Everyone was in agreement that this time would be it, the judge had given all the chances he was going to give and now they have adoptive homes for the kids (something they did not have in the past) something the judge needed to see.  

Joe and I showed up at the JJC first thing that morning per our subpoena.  Turned out we were not needed, nor were the testimonies of the 20+ other professionals called to testify in this case.  The lawyers met with mom and the decision was made quickly.  We crowded into a small court room along with a handful of others from the team and the decision was made.  It was an emotional moment.  The judge asked mom questions that would bring any caring, loving person to tears.  Imagine for a moment, your rights as a parent are terminated and you are permitted ZERO contact with them until they are 18.  She answered, through tears, and it was done.  The courts give the parents 30 days to appeal (this will likely not happen) and then we are allowed to move forward with the adoption process.  I hugged mom as we left the courthouse and we both cried.  I promised to take care of the boys, what else do you say to someone in a situation like that???  I had no other words.  I had to remind myself that as emotional as that moment was the state had good reason to remove the children from their home where this woman was considered the “mother”.  Three and a half years is a long time to give someone a chance to rise to the occasion and parent 6 children.  Yep that’s right, there are 6 children.  We only have the 4 brothers.  That is what we feel called to and we have stated that to anyone who asks, even though to the unbeliever that sounds confusing.  I believe without a doubt that this entire situation was placed in our path by the hand of God who has a beautiful plan for these children.  We have a court date at the end of the month to finalize the termination.  After that we will begin the adoption process.  In the meantime we have presented the DCS team with an education plan to homeschool the boys.  We are awaiting their decision to allow us (or not) to homeschool until the adoption takes place.  Policy for DCS is that the children live in the pre-adoptive home for 6 months prior to adoption, but this is not Law…big difference.  We will be working to make that happen sooner rather than later.  For the last 22 years we have avoided the system for a reason, I've had enough of it already and we've only been involved with it for the past 4 months. 

A lot has changed around our house, 14 people is  a lot…a lot.  It’s loud, but what do you expect?  We have enough to play a 5 on 5 game of basketball:).  We welcome any and all of our friends and family to come for dinner or an afternoon to meet the boys, hang out with the kids, talk with us. We will have some sort of celebration when the adoption is final, there’s a lot to celebrate!! Until then (and beyond of course) continue to lift our family in prayer as a lot of changes are happening.  The boys were told that their parents rights were terminated, that they'd be adopted, homeschooled and changing their last names (all of this has been talked about over the last 4 months), Joe and I continue to parent through all the ups and downs, good days and bad days, and my 8 kids have gone through major changes in their world that are easier some days than others.  

Mark 8:34-37

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. 35If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. 36And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?^e 37Is anything worth more than your soul?